{"id":112223,"date":"2018-06-04T12:00:42","date_gmt":"2018-06-04T11:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=112223"},"modified":"2018-05-31T17:46:13","modified_gmt":"2018-05-31T16:46:13","slug":"lawyers-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2018\/06\/lawyers-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Lawyers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.<\/p>\n<p>Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner walked over and told them, &#8220;You can&#8217;t eat your own sandwiches in here!&#8221; The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,&#8221; sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. &#8220;If I wasn&#8217;t under oath, I&#8217;d return the compliment,&#8221; replied the witness.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/jokes-logo-e1527068528538.jpg\" ><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-102260 size-medium alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/jokes-logo-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":102260,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-112223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-joke-of-the-week"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=112223"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112223\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/102260"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=112223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=112223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=112223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}