{"id":125941,"date":"2019-01-21T12:00:37","date_gmt":"2019-01-21T12:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=125941"},"modified":"2019-01-13T13:15:35","modified_gmt":"2019-01-13T13:15:35","slug":"updating-an-old-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2019\/01\/updating-an-old-one\/","title":{"rendered":"Updating an Old One"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/airplane-aviao.png\" ><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-125942\" src=\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/airplane-aviao.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a>An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers, but only 3 parachutes.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>One passenger proclaimed, &#8220;I&#8217;m Kanye West. I&#8217;m the best rapper on the planet. Millions of fans need me, so I can&#8217;t die.&#8221; He took the 1st pack and jumped out the plane.<\/p>\n<p>The next passenger bragged, &#8220;I&#8217;m the smartest and the best President in American history. I&#8217;m a genius and I have the best words.\u00a0\u00a0I said Mexico will pay for my wall. My fans believe anything I say. \u00a0I can insult blacks, immigrants, and disabled folks. \u00a0I can grab chicks by the pussy and\u00a0hush-pay porn stars after the birth of my 5th child by my 3rd wife. \u00a0My fan base is STILL fantastic because\u00a0I&#8217;m so great.\u201d \u00a0He pointed at the two remaining passengers and sneered, \u201cYou\u2019re a nasty crone, and you&#8230; those long pigtails are a disgrace to teendom!\u201d \u00a0He then grabbed the 2nd pack and jumped off the plane.<\/p>\n<p>After rolling her eyes,\u00a0<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/books.google.com\/books\/about\/Active_Hope.html?id=qAaS5NuVPNMC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=kp_read_button#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false\" >author<\/a>\u00a0and Buddhist scholar\u00a0<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.joannamacy.net\/\" >Joanna Macy<\/a>\u00a0told the remaining passenger, Greta Thunberg, &#8220;My dear, I&#8217;m an elder, with few years left to achieve\u00a0<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=LwlXTAT8rLk\" >The Great Turning<\/a>. \u00a0Even if you had not riveted the world with your\u00a0<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.democracynow.org\/2018\/12\/11\/our_leaders_are_behaving_like_children\" >speech at the Climate Summit<\/a>, you&#8217;re only 15, with many decades ahead, so I gladly sacrifice my life. \u00a0Take the\u00a0last parachute.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Greta replied, &#8220;Thank you,\u00a0but that&#8217;s unnecessary. \u00a0The smartest President in US history grabbed my backpack.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Shouting, &#8220;Yippee!&#8221; they leapt out together, free falling\u00a0into the wild blue yonder\u00a0before floating, hand in hand, to a fragrant meadow.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/jokes-logo-e1527068528538.jpg\" ><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-102260 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/jokes-logo-e1527068528538.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"100\" height=\"67\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>_________________________________________<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>Phoebe Anne Thomas Sorgen is a\u00a0<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/www.gp.org\" >Green Party<\/a>\u00a0USA Delegate and a member of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/\" >TRANSCEND Network for Peace Development Environment<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers, but only 3 parachutes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":125942,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-125941","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-joke-of-the-week"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125941","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=125941"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125941\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/125942"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=125941"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=125941"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=125941"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}