{"id":13006,"date":"2011-07-04T12:00:32","date_gmt":"2011-07-04T11:00:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=13006"},"modified":"2011-06-16T00:49:47","modified_gmt":"2011-06-15T23:49:47","slug":"my-next-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2011\/07\/my-next-life\/","title":{"rendered":"My Next Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In this life I&#8217;m a woman.<\/p>\n<p>In my next life, I&#8217;d like to come back as a bear. When you&#8217;re a bear, you get to hibernate.<br \/>\nYou do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you&#8217;re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.<\/p>\n<p>When you&#8217;re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you&#8217;re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.<\/p>\n<p>Yup&#8230; gonna be a bear.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In this life I&#8217;m a woman. In my next life, I&#8217;d like to come back as a bear.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13006","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-joke-of-the-week"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13006","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13006"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13006\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13006"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13006"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13006"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}