10. Conversations often begin with “Put the gun down, and then we can talk”.<\/p>\n
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.<\/p>\n
8. The cat is on Valium.<\/p>\n
7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.<\/p>\n
6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.<\/p>\n
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.<\/p>\n
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.<\/p>\n
3. “Family meetings” are often mediated by law enforcement officials.<\/p>\n
2. You have to check your kid’s day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.<\/p>\n
1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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