{"id":152192,"date":"2020-01-27T12:00:45","date_gmt":"2020-01-27T12:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=152192"},"modified":"2020-01-23T10:11:25","modified_gmt":"2020-01-23T10:11:25","slug":"bernie-biden-and-my-father","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2020\/01\/bernie-biden-and-my-father\/","title":{"rendered":"Bernie, Biden, and My Father"},"content":{"rendered":"

Bernie has the highest favorability ratings of all the primary candidates and the latest national polls show him beating Trump in the general election.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"\"<\/a>

I\u2019d describe how Bernie has a powerful movement behind him, built over years, with millions of small donors. (Photo: Alex Edelman\/AFP\/Getty Images)<\/p><\/div>\n

21 Jan 2020 – <\/em>My father was a generous and forgiving man, devoted to his family. Although we didn\u2019t always agree, he taught me a lot about many things, and I always admired his decency, his integrity, and his resilience. In 2014, at the age of 85, he passed away after several years of deteriorating health.<\/p>\n

If my father were alive today, I\u2019m sure we\u2019d still be having our weekly Sunday morning breakfasts together. The number one topic\u2014after his grandchildren\u2014was usually politics. So here in January 2020, that would undoubtedly mean two lifelong Democrats (I\u2019m now 66 myself) sitting at his kitchen table, debating the relative merits of presidential candidates Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders.<\/p>\n

But to first take a step back, I should note that my father never would have believed that Donald Trump could become president of the United States. He would have been stunned even more by the bigotry, brutality, and corruption that characterize this White House and its GOP enablers, from Muslim bans to racist tweets to children in cages at the Mexican border to impeachable offenses. After all, I can\u2019t count the number of times my father would reassuringly tell me, \u201cRoy, remember, most people are basically good and honest.\u201d<\/p>\n

Over many years, our breakfast conversations took on a consistent form. First, I\u2019d express dismay or outrage over current events\u2014the torture of US war-on-terror prisoners; the deception-driven invasion of Iraq; the callous treatment of Hurricane Katrina victims; Wall Street\u2019s predatory role in the financial meltdown; the unlawful mass surveillance of Americans, the growing divide between \u201chaves\u201d and \u201chave-nots\u201d; and other lesser injustices. My father, even when feeling much the same way as I did, would then typically ask me whether I\u2019d really given sufficient consideration to all opposing points of view. That would eventually lead to my wondering aloud how those viewpoints could possibly be defended by a reasonable person. And often enough he\u2019d smile and calmly respond, \u201cYou\u2019re right.\u201d<\/p>\n

That single \u201cYou\u2019re right\u201d was a cherished prize. It reassured me that he and I were now seeing the world through similar eyes. In contrast, there was also my father\u2019s triple \u201cYou\u2019re right, you\u2019re right, you\u2019re right.\u201d This was almost always said with some combination of frustration and exhaustion, and it had a very different meaning. It meant that, although the contrary evidence I offered was compelling to me, my father\u2019s own position on the matter was still firmly entrenched. Sometimes it meant that relinquishing it would be a source of too much discomfort or pain for him. So that phrase represented closure of a different sort: it told me it was time for a new topic.<\/p>\n

All of this brings me back to Bernie and Biden. Despite being progressive in his outlook in many ways, it\u2019s likely my father\u2019s natural inclination would have been to support the former vice-president. Like all of us to varying degrees, he found it hard to escape the powerful tendency that psychologists (like me) call status quo bias. In a nutshell, we often prefer routine options\u2014even if they\u2019re not particularly good ones\u2014rather than having to face alternatives that are much less familiar to us. This makes us skeptical of change, especially profound, transformative change\u2014even when that\u2019s exactly what we need. In my father\u2019s case, he almost always tried to see the glass as half-full rather than half-empty. And like many who grew up during the Great Depression, caution was a watchword for him. His own father, a Jewish immigrant from Russia, started out in America selling pots, pans, and plates from the back of a horse-drawn cart. He probably taught my father early on that an unexpected bump in the road could jeopardize everything.<\/p>\n

If we were still having our breakfasts, my father\u2019s cautiousness would probably lead him to comment, \u201cI agree there are very serious problems, but do we really need solutions as \u2018extreme\u2019 as the ones Sanders is proposing?\u201d He\u2019d be surprised when I told him that Bernie\u2019s key policy proposals are actually supported by most Americans. They believe healthcare should be a right\u2014not a privilege\u2014available to everyone. They think workers should receive an hourly wage of at least $15. They believe nobody should be unable to attend college because it\u2019s too expensive. They think climate change isn\u2019t being taken seriously enough and want to see more urgency in tackling it. And they believe giant corporations and billionaires should pay more taxes and have less influence over our politics. My father himself would agree with pretty much all of those objectives. But it would still probably take some time for him to accept the idea that gradual, bipartisan, incremental change isn\u2019t going to make them happen.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s likely my father would also prefer to believe that Biden is just as dedicated as Bernie is when it comes to accomplishing these goals. In part, that\u2019s because the Democratic Party was different when he was a younger man. Back then it was the party that aggressively confronted inequality\u2014going to bat for working Americans and their unions, making sure the aging were protected with Social Security and Medicare, fighting hard against poverty and for civil rights. Indeed, I still recall the portrait of JFK that hung in the back office of the family\u2019s restaurant supply business (yes, those pots, pans, and plates again) for many years.<\/p>\n

Democratic socialism really just means ensuring fair treatment and decent and fulfilling lives for all Americans, not just the privileged few.<\/em><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Unfortunately, today\u2019s Democratic Party leadership isn\u2019t the same. It\u2019s certainly not as bad as the Republicans, but it too has fallen prey to the corrupting corporate influences that now wield so much power in Washington. So Biden\u2019s status as the Democratic establishment\u2019s favored candidate isn\u2019t necessarily a badge of honor anymore (especially since his track record includes laying the groundwork for the racist war on drugs and mass incarceration; repeatedly calling for cuts to Social Security; supporting credit card companies over bankrupt consumers; and advocating for the Iraq war). After several breakfast discussions on these topics, I like to think my father would eventually have said, \u201cRoy, you\u2019re right.\u201d<\/p>\n

There\u2019s also little doubt that at some point during this primary season my father would have politely (always politely) challenged me on the so-called electability issue. \u201cCan someone who calls himself a democratic socialist actually win?\u201d Isn\u2019t beating Trump what\u2019s most important?\u201d Fortunately, I wouldn\u2019t need to downplay his concerns, because I could honestly tell him there\u2019s good reason to think that Sanders has a better chance to win the White House than Biden or anyone else.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d describe how Bernie has a powerful movement behind him, built over years, with millions of small donors; how so many people\u2014especially those much younger than the two of us\u2014admire him for his authenticity, his integrity, and his unwavering commitment to advancing the common good; and how democratic socialism really just means ensuring fair treatment and decent and fulfilling lives for all Americans, not just the privileged few. I’d also remind him that Bernie has the highest favorability ratings of all the primary candidates, and that the latest national polls show him beating Trump in the general election. I wouldn\u2019t necessarily expect immediate agreement from my father on these points either, but I think he\u2019d at least start reconsidering some of his assumptions. And \u201cYou\u2019re right\u201d might be just a few meals further down the road.<\/p>\n

When I play out all of these imagined conversations in my mind (and I\u2019ve done that more than once in recent days), I actually believe that the storybook ending is surprisingly likely. Some Sunday morning before the Pennsylvania primary in April, my father would say, \u201cRoy, I\u2019ve decided to vote for Bernie Sanders.\u201d And then he\u2019d follow up by asking me to give him a ride to his polling place on election day.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, in real life, I so regret that there are no more weekly breakfasts together. But when I head to Iowa later this month as a volunteer for Bernie, I\u2019ll be wearing my father\u2019s old winter coat. And I know how much I\u2019ll miss telling him about my experiences there when I return home.<\/p>\n

_______________________________________________<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/em>Roy Eidelson is a member of the TRANSCEND Network<\/a> and was a member of the American Psychological Association for over 25 years, prior to his resignation. He is a clinical psychologist and the president of Eidelson Consulting<\/a>, where he studies, writes about, and consults on the role of psychological issues in political, organizational, and group conflict settings. He is a past president of Psychologists for Social Responsibility<\/a>, former executive director of the University of Pennsylvania\u2019s Solomon Asch Center for Study of Ethnopolitical Conflict, and a member of the Coalition for an Ethical Psychology<\/a>. Roy is the author of <\/em>Political Mind Games: How the 1% Manipulate Our Understanding of What\u2019s Happening, What\u2019s Right, and What\u2019s Possible<\/a> and can be reached at reidelson@eidelsonconsulting.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Our work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 License. Feel free to republish and share widely.<\/em><\/p>\n

Go to Original \u2013 commondreams.org<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

21 Jan 2020 – Bernie has the highest favorability ratings of all the primary candidates and the latest national polls show him beating Trump in the general election. Democratic socialism really just means ensuring fair treatment and decent and fulfilling lives for all Americans, not just the privileged few.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":110813,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[392,109,70],"class_list":["post-152192","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-transcend-members","tag-elections","tag-politics","tag-usa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152192","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=152192"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152192\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/110813"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=152192"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=152192"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=152192"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}