We, too, have mobilized.<\/p>\n
We come from near and far, by any means necessary, some on private jets, others on extremely large private jets.<\/p>\n
But you will not find us sleeping in a park and waiting in line at a Burger King to urinate. Have you heard of Mustique? Because that\u2019s where we have mobilized. Don\u2019t bother trying to Google Earth us, though, because we have proprietary military software that prevents you from doing so.<\/p>\n
Our numbers may be smaller than those demonstrating in New York and other cities, but we are still a movement, coalesced around a cause, sleeping two and sometimes three people to a villa.<\/p>\n
Perhaps you are wondering what our cause is. Perhaps you\u2019re wondering why we, the richest people on the planet, have come together. Perhaps you\u2019re curious whether what we\u2019re undertaking couldn\u2019t technically be called a vacation. These are all good questions.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re angry. We\u2019re angry at something we\u2019re calling \u201cimagined frustration.\u201d By this we mean that, except for Congress, the White House, banks, major lobbyists, and the editorial boards of Fox News and the Wall Street Journal<\/em>, no one is listening to us. And we\u2019re tired of it.<\/p>\n You claim to know something about us. You think we are rich beyond comprehension, that we can do anything we please at any time, go anywhere we want at a moment\u2019s notice, wander the earth in a state of constant bliss, enjoying abundant and fabulous sex. Perhaps you do know us.<\/p>\n There are those in the more liberal press who have questioned whether the wealthiest one per cent truly understand how difficult life is for so many Americans right now, and to that we would say\u2014 Oh, look, someone just brought in lobster and a Bollinger Grande Ann\u00e9e.<\/p>\n Except for money and the almost unnatural flawlessness of my skin, we are no different, you and I. I don\u2019t know who you are or what you look like or how much money you have in the bank. Nor does it matter. Because we\u2019re just men. Unless you are a woman. Or a child. Or a pony. But ponies don\u2019t read magazines, do they? Unless they\u2019re precocious ponies, like Mister Ed. And he wasn\u2019t real. But I think you get my point. And that is: we are the same, except for the coarseness of the skin on your elbows. Do you know that feeling, upon waking at 4 A.M., heart racing, your mind looking twenty, thirty years down the road, wondering how you are going to make ends meet? Worrying about what would happen if you lost your job, asking yourself how you\u2019re going to pay for your kids\u2019 college or retire? Well, I don\u2019t. But I read a story about it once and remember thinking, I\u2019m so glad that\u2019s not me.<\/p>\n What do we want?<\/p>\n Here is our manifesto, still very much a work in progress, as it\u2019s cocktail hour and several of our protesters are out at the pool:<\/p>\n \u2014All wealth should be shared equally among the wealthy.<\/p>\n \u2014Eradicate poverty. (Note: Maybe a clearer way to say this would be \u201cEradicate the poor.\u201d Need to discuss.)<\/p>\n \u2014End business as usual. (Note: Several members like the sound of this, but they don\u2019t know what it means. A suggestion has been made to add the word \u201chours\u201d after \u201cbusiness.\u201d)<\/p>\n \u2014Implement a rule whereby the public cannot look at us and must keep a distance of at least twenty feet at all times.<\/p>\n Yes, I have more things\u2014more homes and cars and planes and art and underground passages and satellites and private militias and a person whose only job is to grow hair that is genetically identical to my own. But when you take off your pants and I take off my pants and we stand facing each other as naked as the day we were born, except for socks, all I would ask is that you feel my skin and tell me it\u2019s not the softest skin you\u2019ve ever felt on a man. And also realize that we are the same, except for the fact that I have four submarines.<\/p>\n Shit is fucked up and bullshit.<\/p>\n We agree.<\/p>\n Except that we would substitute \u201cmoney\u201d for \u201cshit,\u201d \u201cawesome\u201d for \u201cfucked up,\u201d and \u201csquash courts\u201d for \u201cbullshit,\u201d and add the words \u201ccannot be used for more than ninety minutes. Please respect club rules. Thank you.\u201d\u00a0\u2666<\/p>\n