{"id":165188,"date":"2020-07-20T12:00:03","date_gmt":"2020-07-20T11:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=165188"},"modified":"2020-07-18T05:40:44","modified_gmt":"2020-07-18T04:40:44","slug":"she-waved-a-rainbow-flag-at-our-cairo-show-tragedy-followed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2020\/07\/she-waved-a-rainbow-flag-at-our-cairo-show-tragedy-followed\/","title":{"rendered":"She Waved a Rainbow Flag at Our Cairo Show. Tragedy Followed."},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote>\n<p id=\"article-summary\" class=\"css-1smgwul e1wiw3jv0\"><em>That Sarah Hegazi felt safe enough to honor our music with her bravery is thrilling; that such a simple act forever altered and then ended her life brings me great sorrow.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\"><em>16 Jul 2020 &#8211; <\/em>Last month, Sarah Hegazi, a 30-year-old Egyptian L.G.B.T.Q. rights activist, took her own life in Canada. Far away from Cairo, her home, she was profoundly haunted by what had happened to her there over the past two and a half years, having been <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2020\/06\/15\/world\/middleeast\/egypt-gay-suicide-sarah-hegazi.html\" class=\"css-1g7m0tk\" title=\"\" >arrested, tortured<\/a> and hounded into exile. Her transgression? She raised the rainbow flag \u2014 unabashedly and joyously \u2014 at a concert in Cairo.<\/p>\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">I was onstage that fated night, Sept. 22, 2017, with my band Mashrou&#8217; Leila. We\u2019re an indie group from Beirut and have played across the Middle East and beyond for more than a decade now. Our Arabic lyrics tell stories of love, hope, loss, inequality and corruption, speaking to the ills that plague our region.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">Performing onstage has given me my proudest memories. From where I usually stand, I look out at the sea of dreamers holding signs, waving flags, laughing, screaming and singing their hearts out. Collectively, we \u2014 band and fans \u2014 do what the Middle East\u2019s leaders won\u2019t: create a home for all of us. Class, race, sexuality, gender, politics and religion all fade away for two hours. Such a version of what the Arab world could be is a powerful rebuke and a threat to what the dictators, Islamists and sectarians have been offering us instead for decades.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">Though we have performed at some of the most iconic venues across the globe, that concert in Cairo was our largest ever, with 35,000 people in attendance. To perform for so many in the soul of the Arab world, as Egypt is considered, was a milestone for us and a testament to that hunger for change.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside class=\"css-ew4tgv\" aria-label=\"companion column\"><\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">Our band came together in 2008, in a series of late-night jam sessions in Lebanon. We were architecture students, thinking we\u2019d build a better world through the houses, museums and cities we\u2019d design. Instead, through our music and the people it brought together, we ended up building a community, one that transcends the tribal identities that have long held us back. What we do share is a belief in the possibilities of fairer, brighter and more resilient futures.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">While I never met Ms. Hegazi, I feel I knew her. A photo from that night immortalizes her, the same one that would seal her fate when it went viral. She\u2019s aloft on the shoulders of a friend, gloriously raising the rainbow flag; it almost gives her wings.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside class=\"css-ew4tgv\" aria-label=\"companion column\"><\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-79elbk\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"css-1tsfrl4 ehw59r12\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-children\">\n<div class=\"css-tux0zj ehw59r13\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-overlay\">\n<div class=\"css-1qpcm6k ehw59r11\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-captionblock\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-vzhji3 ehw59r14\">\n<div>\n<div class=\"css-8h527k\">\n<div class=\"css-1xdhyk6 erfvjey0\"><picture class=\"css-1j5kxti\"><source srcset=\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian1\/16Papazian1-mobileMasterAt3x.jpg?quality=75&amp;auto=webp&amp;disable=upscale&amp;width=600\" media=\"(max-width: 599px) and (min-device-pixel-ratio: 3),(max-width: 599px) and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 3),(max-width: 599px) and (min-resolution: 3dppx),(max-width: 599px) and (min-resolution: 288dpi)\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian1\/16Papazian1-mobileMasterAt3x.jpg?quality=75&amp;auto=webp&amp;disable=upscale&amp;width=1200\" media=\"(max-width: 599px) and (min-device-pixel-ratio: 2),(max-width: 599px) and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2),(max-width: 599px) and (min-resolution: 2dppx),(max-width: 599px) and (min-resolution: 192dpi)\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian1\/16Papazian1-mobileMasterAt3x.jpg?quality=75&amp;auto=webp&amp;disable=upscale&amp;width=1800\" media=\"(max-width: 599px) and (min-device-pixel-ratio: 1),(max-width: 599px) and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1),(max-width: 599px) and (min-resolution: 1dppx),(max-width: 599px) and (min-resolution: 96dpi)\" \/><\/picture><picture><source srcset=\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian1\/16Papazian1-mobileMasterAt3x.jpg?quality=75&amp;auto=webp&amp;disable=upscale&amp;width=600\" media=\"(max-width: 599px) and (min-device-pixel-ratio: 3),(max-width: 599px) and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 3),(max-width: 599px) and (min-resolution: 3dppx),(max-width: 599px) and (min-resolution: 288dpi)\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian1\/16Papazian1-mobileMasterAt3x.jpg?quality=75&amp;auto=webp&amp;disable=upscale&amp;width=1200\" media=\"(max-width: 599px) and (min-device-pixel-ratio: 2),(max-width: 599px) and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2),(max-width: 599px) and (min-resolution: 2dppx),(max-width: 599px) and (min-resolution: 192dpi)\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian1\/16Papazian1-mobileMasterAt3x.jpg?quality=75&amp;auto=webp&amp;disable=upscale&amp;width=1800\" media=\"(max-width: 599px) and (min-device-pixel-ratio: 1),(max-width: 599px) and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1),(max-width: 599px) and (min-resolution: 1dppx),(max-width: 599px) and (min-resolution: 96dpi)\" \/><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"css-1m50asq aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian1\/16Papazian1-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&amp;auto=webp&amp;disable=upscale\" sizes=\"((min-width: 600px) and (max-width: 1004px)) 84vw, (min-width: 1005px) 80vw, 100vw\" srcset=\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian1\/16Papazian1-articleLarge.jpg?quality=90&amp;auto=webp 600w,https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian1\/16Papazian1-jumbo.jpg?quality=90&amp;auto=webp 961w,https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian1\/16Papazian1-superJumbo.jpg?quality=90&amp;auto=webp 961w\" alt=\"An image shared widely over social media reportedly shows Ms. Hegazi at the concert in Cairo.\" \/><\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-79elbk\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"css-1a48zt4 ehw59r15\" style=\"text-align: center;\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-children\">\n<figure class=\"css-1viisko e1g7ppur0\" role=\"group\" aria-label=\"media\"><figcaption class=\"css-18crmh6 ewdxa0s0\"><strong><span class=\"css-16f3y1r e13ogyst0\" aria-hidden=\"true\">An image shared widely over social media reportedly shows Ms. Hegazi at the concert in Cairo.<\/span><span class=\"css-cnj6d5 e1z0qqy90\"><span class=\"css-1ly73wi e1tej78p0\"> Credit&#8230;<\/span>Photograph via Instagram<\/span><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">I visit her at that concert in my memories: Lights dimmed, an intimate and safe darkness transports us all to Marrikh, Arabic for Mars and the name of one of our songs. We performed it under the stars in Cairo to a constellation of swaying cellphone lights. I\u2019ve also sought videos posted online of that night, shot from different angles with shaky cameras: pixelated dreams and noise-distorted recordings of the emotions of thousands.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside class=\"css-ew4tgv\" aria-label=\"companion column\"><\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">At first, Ms. Hegazi\u2019s picture was greeted online as a triumphant exclamation of pride. Within days, it was used to whip up public hysteria and justify a homophobic arrest campaign. The Egyptian government imprisoned and tortured Ms. Hegazi, and many others, mostly on the basis of their real or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity \u2014 as it has done for decades and continues to do.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside class=\"css-ew4tgv\" aria-label=\"companion column\"><\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">That Ms. Hegazi felt safe enough to honor our music with her bravery is thrilling; that such a simple act forever altered and then ended her life brings me great sorrow. That plummet \u2014 from hope to despair \u2014 is familiar to anyone who dared to believe in the Arab Spring.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">In those early days of hope, our band dedicated a video to the \u201cgeneration of the revolution.\u201d In 2011, we performed our first shows ever in the countries that led the Arab Spring, Tunisia and Egypt. We used our platform to amplify Arab women\u2019s voices, played fund-raisers for Syrian refugees, campaigned for sustainable environmental projects and advocated L.G.B.T.Q. rights and sexual-health awareness. Our lead singer has always been open about his queerness. As we started touring the world, we met many inspiring queer Arab activists. Their courage and resilience taught me to be more at ease with my own sexual identity and queerness.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">But the old guard quickly reasserted itself across the Middle East, answering the youthful uprisings with a brutal and oppressive counterrevolution.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-79elbk\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-wrapper\"><\/div>\n<section class=\"meteredContent css-1r7ky0e\">\n<div class=\"css-79elbk\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"css-1a48zt4 ehw59r15\" style=\"text-align: center;\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-children\">\n<figure class=\"css-1ef8w8q e1g7ppur0\" role=\"group\" aria-label=\"media\">\n<div class=\"css-1xdhyk6 erfvjey0\">\n<div class=\"css-8h527k\">\n<div data-testid=\"lazyimage-container\"><picture class=\"css-1j5kxti\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"css-1m50asq aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian3\/16Papazian3-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&amp;auto=webp&amp;disable=upscale\" sizes=\"((min-width: 600px) and (max-width: 1004px)) 84vw, (min-width: 1005px) 80vw, 100vw\" srcset=\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian3\/16Papazian3-articleLarge.jpg?quality=90&amp;auto=webp 600w,https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian3\/16Papazian3-jumbo.jpg?quality=90&amp;auto=webp 1024w,https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/16Papazian3\/16Papazian3-superJumbo.jpg?quality=90&amp;auto=webp 2048w\" alt=\"The author, second from left, performing with Mashrou\u2019 Leila in Washington, D.C.\" \/><\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><figcaption class=\"css-18crmh6 ewdxa0s0\"><strong><span class=\"css-16f3y1r e13ogyst0\" aria-hidden=\"true\">The author, second from left, performing with Mashrou\u2019 Leila in Washington, D.C. <\/span><span class=\"css-cnj6d5 e1z0qqy90\"><span class=\"css-1ly73wi e1tej78p0\">Credit&#8230;<\/span>Yeganeh Torbati\/Reuters<\/span><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">We became a target for cynical politicians and pundits who stoked religious fervor (be it Christian or Muslim) for their own gain, accusing us of everything from Satanism to debauchery to a lack of authenticity, campaigns often fueled by fake news. Last summer, our 10th-anniversary show in our own country <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2019\/07\/31\/world\/middleeast\/lebanon-mashrou-leila-blasphemy.html#:~:text=Lebanese%20Band\" class=\"css-1g7m0tk\" title=\"\" s%20Concert%20Is%20Canceled%20After%20It's%20Accused%20of%20Blasphemy,-Mashrou'%20Leila%20has&amp;text=A%20Lebanese%20music%20festival%20has,Madonna%20as%20the%20Virgin%20Mary.\">was canceled<\/a> after death threats. We were forbidden to play in many places in the Middle East and after that 2017 concert, barred from ever performing in Egypt again. These injustices pale compared with what the local regimes regularly do to their own citizens.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">I decided to follow love, and I too moved away. But though in exile our houses are safe, their walls are bare. Here, our dreams are sheltered, but no memories are to be found.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside class=\"css-ew4tgv\" aria-label=\"companion column\"><\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">Two years after seeking asylum in Canada, Ms. Hegazi left us with this note: \u201cTo my siblings: I have tried to find salvation and I have failed. Forgive me. To my friends: The journey was cruel and I am too weak to resist. Forgive me. To the world: You were horrifically cruel, but I forgive.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">Ms. Hegazi\u2019s words of forgiveness remind me why having queer voices and public representation in the region is so important as we seek compassion and courage to unite us in our dangerous, often lethal, fight to be ourselves.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-158dogj evys1bk0\">In a fairer Arab future, our history books will speak of the young Egyptian woman who raised a rainbow flag at a concert in Cairo. In a more resilient future, we will rebuild our home so that everyone in the region, from Beirut to Damascus, Amman to Cairo, Tunis to Riyadh, Jerusalem to Baghdad, can be who they are, unabashedly and joyously.<\/p>\n<p>____________________________________________<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-pncxxs etfikam0\" style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><em>Haig Papazian is the violinist for the Lebanese alternative rock band Mashrou\u2019 Leila.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<div class=\"bottom-of-article\">\n<div class=\"css-13ldwoe\"><em>A version of this article appears in print on July 17, 2020, Section A, Page 25 of the New York edition with the headline: The Cost of Being Queer and Arab.<\/em><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2020\/07\/16\/opinion\/culture\/mashrou-leila-fan-suicide.html?smid=fb-share\" >Go to Original &#8211; nytimes.com<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>16 Jul 2020 &#8211; Last month, Sarah Hegazi, a 30-year-old Egyptian L.G.B.T.Q. rights activist, took her own life in Canada. That she felt safe enough to honor our music with her bravery is thrilling; that such a simple act forever altered and then ended her life brings me great sorrow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":121498,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[181],"tags":[706,1145,2049,1144,2041,2048,593,361],"class_list":["post-165188","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sexualities","tag-egypt","tag-gay-rights","tag-homophobia","tag-homosexuality","tag-lesbian","tag-prejudice","tag-sexualities","tag-suicide"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/165188","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=165188"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/165188\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/121498"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=165188"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=165188"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=165188"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}