{"id":17241,"date":"2012-02-06T14:20:05","date_gmt":"2012-02-06T14:20:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=17241"},"modified":"2012-02-06T14:20:05","modified_gmt":"2012-02-06T14:20:05","slug":"never-talk-to-the-parrot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2012\/02\/never-talk-to-the-parrot\/","title":{"rendered":"Never Talk To the Parrot"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn&#8217;t accommodate her with an &#8220;after-hours&#8221; appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, &#8220;I&#8217;ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I&#8217;ll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large Rottweiler inside named Killer; he won&#8217;t bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.<\/p>\n<p>As he was ready to leave, he couldn&#8217;t resist saying, &#8220;You stupid bird, why don&#8217;t you shut up!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>To which the bird replied, &#8220;Killer, get him!!!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-joke-of-the-week"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17241","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17241"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17241\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17241"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17241"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17241"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}