{"id":173433,"date":"2020-11-23T12:00:31","date_gmt":"2020-11-23T12:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=173433"},"modified":"2020-11-22T06:19:44","modified_gmt":"2020-11-22T06:19:44","slug":"kamala-and-joe-satire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2020\/11\/kamala-and-joe-satire\/","title":{"rendered":"Kamala and Joe [Satire]"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2018Kamala, now that we have a moment to ourselves, let me offer you my own personal congratulations for a glorious victory! The victory is as much your doing.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No, Joe, no! You are too modest! The Glory is all yours!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Nonsense! It belongs to all of us. In a way, it is America\u2019s victory!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018You are right. We both have a chance of doing America proud!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Right! Let\u2019s get to work! Let\u2019s plan out 2021!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe! Let\u2019s make certain of the next eight years!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Eight years? Yes! Right on!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Donald had over 70 million Americans voting for him.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s true. We\u2019ve got to win them over\u2026some at least.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe, they voted for Donald because they thought he was tough. A man strong enough to be President of the United States!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well, I am strong enough.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Of course, you are, Joe. But many don\u2019t see it as yet. We have got to show them, everyone, that you are strong!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Right! Er\u2026what should I do?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I was thinking about it. Remember, Clinton, when his ratings were slipping, bombed that pharma unit in Sudan? And\u2026and, Obama, flattened out Libya!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well, I can\u2019t do what they did, can I?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No, no, no. You\u2019ve got to do something new \u2013 something different, something exciting!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well, I dunno\u2026I promised we would get back in with the Paris Agreement on Climate Change?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe! That don\u2019t mean a string of beans to anyone in the red middle of America! You have got to show You are the President of the United States of America!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Right on! I will!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe\u2026you could put sanctions on Pakistan to clean out that nest of terrorists? That would go down very well with my supporters in India.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Can\u2019t do that, Kamala. We want Pakis on our side to encircle Iran! Remember we lost out on their oil, tough we eliminated Dr. Mossadegh. No, think of something else.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018You could bomb Azerbaijan! They have got oil! And they have issues with Armenia. That will go down well not only in India but with Orthodox Christians. We need to ensure they come on board, Joe.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Right, that\u2019s a good option. Any other ideas?\u2019<\/p>\n

Well, maybe something nearer home? More sanctions on Venezuela, Cuba? That sort of thing?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No, Kamala, they have been worked over by everyone. That would only make me look like a follower, not a leader. I\u2019ve got it! That Evo Morales guy! He\u2019s worse than any black! No\u2026sorry! I didn\u2019t mean it, Kamala, honest. It just slipped out, somehow.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Well don\u2019t let that sort of thing happen in public!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Okay, but this Evo Morales guy has got his party voted back to power in Bolivia. We can\u2019t have his democracy working against our democracy. I say, let\u2019s slap him with sanctions, all we\u2019ve got!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes! And send in advisors to get a military coup going.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Check. Any other ideas?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I got it! I got it! A peach of an idea! You put down Kiribati!<\/p>\n

\u2018Who? Who in tarnation is Kiribati?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018An independent Pacific Island country, Joe, once belonged to England. Now, in our own backyard. They have got the gumption to invite China \u2013 Red China \u2013 to open a consulate there!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I won\u2019t stand for it!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No, of course, not! So, you invade to clean out the Reds. Donald\u2019s supporters will get real nostalgic, Joe. It will remind them of that epic battle there for the Tarawa atolls in World War Two. That battle was far more fierce than Iwo Jima, Joe, or Guadalcanal. You will be a hero! Americans love invasions!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes\u2026okay, but it might create a world-wide stink, which we don\u2019t want right now after all of Trump\u2019s shenanigans.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Joe, we do it the usual way, as part of an international coalition \u2013 Palau, the Marshall Islands\u2026yes, Israel, and of course the U.K.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018They will come in along with us?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Sure thing. They can never say \u2018no\u2019 to us. Anyway, great photo-ops for them too. Imagine a Royal in battle fatigues standing on an atoll! Will keep them drooling for months!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Kamala, you are a real pal.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s what running mates are for.\u2019<\/p>\n

__________________________________________________<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/em>Vithal Rajan, Ph.D. [L.S.E.], worked as a mediator for the church in Belfast; as faculty at The School of Peace Studies, University of Bradford, and as Executive Director, the Right Livelihood Award Foundation. He has founded several Indian NGOs, is an Officer of the Order of Canada, and a member of the TRANSCEND Network for Peace Development Environment<\/a>.<\/em> vithal.rajan@gmail.com<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2018Kamala, now that we have a moment to ourselves, let me offer you my own personal congratulations for a glorious victory! The victory is as much your doing.\u2019 \u2018No, Joe, no! You are too modest! The Glory is all yours!\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":92200,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[867,2197,392,2225,1964,70],"class_list":["post-173433","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-transcend-members","tag-anglo-america","tag-biden","tag-elections","tag-kamala-harris","tag-satire","tag-usa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173433","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=173433"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173433\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/92200"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=173433"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=173433"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=173433"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}