{"id":17397,"date":"2012-02-20T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-02-20T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=17397"},"modified":"2012-02-13T18:54:34","modified_gmt":"2012-02-13T18:54:34","slug":"installing-a-carpet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2012\/02\/installing-a-carpet\/","title":{"rendered":"Installing a Carpet"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he&#8217;d lost his cigarettes.<\/p>\n<p>In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.<\/p>\n<p>&#8221;No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,&#8221; he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.<\/p>\n<p>As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. &#8221;Here,&#8221; she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. &#8221;I found them in the hallway.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8221;Now,&#8221; she said, &#8221;if only I could find my parakeet.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he&#8217;d lost his cigarettes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-joke-of-the-week"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17397","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17397"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17397\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}