{"id":18752,"date":"2012-05-21T12:00:29","date_gmt":"2012-05-21T11:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=18752"},"modified":"2012-05-05T00:34:03","modified_gmt":"2012-05-04T23:34:03","slug":"glad-to-be-drunk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2012\/05\/glad-to-be-drunk\/","title":{"rendered":"Glad to Be Drunk"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, &#8220;I&#8217;ve got to take you in, pal. You&#8217;re obviously drunk.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Our wasted friend asked, &#8220;Officer, are ya absolutely sure I&#8217;m drunk?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yeah, buddy, I&#8217;m sure,&#8221; said the copper. &#8220;Let&#8217;s go.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, &#8220;Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18752","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-joke-of-the-week"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18752","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18752"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18752\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18752"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18752"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18752"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}