{"id":248895,"date":"2023-11-27T12:01:03","date_gmt":"2023-11-27T12:01:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=248895"},"modified":"2023-11-23T03:40:40","modified_gmt":"2023-11-23T03:40:40","slug":"i-condemn-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2023\/11\/i-condemn-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"I Condemn Myself"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

A poem by a visionary arts educator from the West Bank, occupied Palestine.<\/em><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

9 Nov 2023<\/em><\/p>\n

I would like to thank all those who
\ncontacted me by any means to assure
\ntheir solidarity and ask about us,
\nI am grateful beyond limits for those who
\nare with us in such challenging times
\nMedia Journalists, TV interviewers come to us, pointing fingers
\nand asking this endless question:\u00a0Do you condemn Palestinian terrorism?<\/em>
\nDo you condemn Hamas?
\n<\/em>So, let\u2019s deal with that.<\/p>\n

I do condemn myself. I condemn my whole existence
\nI condemn my own birth in a refugee camp in my own country
\nI condemn my own birth for being a Palestinian,
\nwhile according to many, Palestine does not exist
\nI condemn my parents, who were uprooted from their destroyed villages
\nand brought me to life in a refugee camp<\/p>\n

I condemn my own life: I had hopes and dreams to be a great biologist
\nand researcher who would save lives,
\nan amazing painter and a marvelous photographer,
\na fantastic actor and talented writer who would inspire the whole world
\nI didn\u2019t really search to be famous in anything I have done<\/p>\n

I condemn myself for believing that human rights include us
\nHow dare I think that we are even part of these values?
\nI condemn myself believing in international law and UN resolutions
\nthat people under occupation have the legitimate right to resist by ALL MEANS.<\/p>\n

How dare I consider that we are under occupation
\nI ask for your forgiveness
\nI believed that standing with the oppressed was the natural thing to do
\nWhat can I say\u2026 I am so ignorant<\/p>\n

So, World!
\nI am really sorry
\nI didn\u2019t realize I was misled and misinformed
\nShould I apologize?
\nShould I condemn?
\nI deeply apologize, World!
\nI apologize to you all
\nI condemn myself for being who I am
\nI apologize for not having blond hair and blue eyes
\nEven though some of my cousins have blond hair and green or blue eyes
\nI was taught that I should support the oppressed and prevent the oppressor from continuing the oppression
\nI was told that I should support the evil<\/em> Black South Africans
\nagainst the kind<\/em> white apartheid system
\nThis was only designed to humanize<\/em> them
\nI apologize<\/p>\n

I was told to support the Spanish and Italians
\nAgainst the dictatorships and fascists
\nGermans and Europeans against the Nazis
\nArabs, Africans, Irish, Scottish against British and European colonization\u2019s
\nVietnam, Latin America and Afghanistan against American invasions
\nI was taught to support Native Americans and Australian, Muslims in Myanmar, China and India\u2026 and so many others
\nPalestinians against British and Zionist occupation
\nI was taught to support the resistance of the oppressed against the oppressor<\/p>\n

I apologize for not being able to forget that I am still a refugee in my own country
\nI condemn my stubborn reclamation of my right to return to my parents destroyed villages
\nHow dare I do that? How dare all these stubborn Palestinian refugees claim that right of return?
\nI condemn my parents who raised me with, \u201cIf you are consumed with hatred,
\nyou lose your humanity\u201d How dare they not to teach me how to hate?
\nI apologize for not accepting the exile of my brother,
\nthe imprisonment of my brothers, cousins, nephews, neighbors and so many others\u2026
\nI couldn\u2019t understand your human rights and international law.
\nI thought I was protected as a human being or even if considered as a human animal?
\nI apologize for my ignorance\u2026<\/p>\n

I apologize that I still couldn\u2019t figure out how to co-exist with occupation,
\noppression, dehumanization and be happy about it?
\nDo you have special training? I am happy to join\u2026.
\nOr should I just say, no thank you\u2026 I pass<\/p>\n

We will not forget\u2026. We will remember
\nWe will not forget the silence, the hypocrisy, the blackmailing
\nWe will not forget those who raised their voice and stood with what is just and right
\nWe will not forget anything<\/p>\n

You can continue to push for despair and we will continue to flourish with hope
\nYou can continue to promote death and we will continue to promote life
\nYou will continue to do your worst.\u00a0\u00a0We will continue to do our best<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>________________________________________________<\/p>\n

Abdelfattah Abusrour, Ph.D. is a visionary arts educator, winner of: Stars Foundation Impact Award 2016, Ashoka Fellow\u2013Social Entrepreneur 2006, and Synergos Social Innovator 2011. His West Bank-based organisation: \u00a0 https:\/\/www.alrowwad.org\/en\/alrowwad\/who-we-are-2<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Go to Original – forsea.co<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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