{"id":313421,"date":"2026-02-23T12:00:10","date_gmt":"2026-02-23T12:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=313421"},"modified":"2026-02-19T07:39:10","modified_gmt":"2026-02-19T07:39:10","slug":"europeans-declare-rubio-a-slightly-smaller-asshole-than-jd-vance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2026\/02\/europeans-declare-rubio-a-slightly-smaller-asshole-than-jd-vance\/","title":{"rendered":"Europeans Declare Rubio a Slightly Smaller Asshole Than JD Vance"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/rubio-vance.webp\" ><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-313422\" src=\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/rubio-vance-300x150.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/rubio-vance-300x150.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/rubio-vance-1024x512.webp 1024w, https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/rubio-vance-768x384.webp 768w, https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/rubio-vance.webp 1456w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><em>17 Feb 2026\u00a0<\/em>&#8211;\u00a0In a joint communiqu\u00e9 issued at the close of the Munich Security Conference, European leaders declared US Secretary of State Marco Rubio a \u201cslightly smaller asshole\u201d than last year\u2019s American speaker, Vice President JD Vance.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMake no mistake, everyone here thought Marco was a ginormous dick,\u201d French President Emmanuel Macron told reporters. \u201cBut JD was still worse.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>According to White House sources, Rubio was \u201cshattered\u201d that he had failed to equal the room-clearing toxicity of Vance\u2019s performance.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDespite his best efforts, Marco has yet to prove that he is a flaming enough asshole to be Trump\u2019s heir apparent,\u201d one source said. \u201cJD has set the bar very, very high.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\"><i>____________________________________________<\/i><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/andy-borowitz.webp\" ><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-272508 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/andy-borowitz-e1771486485929.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"90\" height=\"100\" \/><\/a>Andy Borowitz is a <\/i>New York Times<i> best-selling author and a comedian who has written for <\/i>The New Yorker<i> since 1998. In 2001, he created the Borowitz Report, a satirical news column that has millions of readers around the world, for which he won the first-ever <\/i>National Press Club<i> award for humor. The Borowitz Report was acquired by <\/i>The New Yorker<i> in 2012.<\/i><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\"><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.borowitzreport.com\/p\/europeans-declare-rubio-a-slightly\" >Go to Original \u2013 borowitzreport.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>17 Feb 2026\u00a0&#8211;\u00a0In a joint communiqu\u00e9 issued at the close of the Munich Security Conference, European leaders declared US Secretary of State Marco Rubio a \u201cslightly smaller asshole\u201d than last year\u2019s Vice President JD Vance. \u201cMake no mistake, everyone here thought Marco was a ginormous dick,\u201d French President Emmanuel Macron told reporters. \u201cBut JD was still worse.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":313422,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3510],"tags":[3904,1373,1964,70],"class_list":["post-313421","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satire","tag-j-d-vance","tag-marco-rubio","tag-satire","tag-usa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313421","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=313421"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313421\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":313423,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313421\/revisions\/313423"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/313422"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=313421"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=313421"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=313421"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}