{"id":39914,"date":"2014-02-24T12:00:18","date_gmt":"2014-02-24T12:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=39914"},"modified":"2015-05-05T22:11:04","modified_gmt":"2015-05-05T21:11:04","slug":"divorcing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2014\/02\/divorcing\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorcing"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, &#8220;I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty\u2011five years of misery is enough.&#8221; &#8220;Pop, what are you talking about?&#8221; the son screams. &#8220;We can&#8217;t stand the sight of each other any longer,&#8221; the old man says. &#8220;We&#8217;re sick of each other, and I&#8217;m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her,&#8221; and he hangs up.<\/p>\n<p>Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. &#8220;Like heck they&#8217;re getting divorced,&#8221; she shouts, &#8220;I&#8217;ll take care of this.&#8221; She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, &#8220;You are NOT getting divorced. Don&#8217;t do a single thing until I get there. I&#8217;m calling my brother back, and we&#8217;ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don&#8217;t do a thing. DO YOU HEAR ME? and hangs up.<\/p>\n<p>The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. &#8220;Okay,&#8221; he says, &#8220;they&#8217;re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares&#8230;. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, &#8220;I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty five years of misery is enough.&#8221; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39914","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-joke-of-the-week"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39914","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39914"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39914\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39914"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39914"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39914"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}