“The outreach committee has visited every family that is not afflicted with a church.”<\/p>\n
“Don’t let worry kill you–let the church help.”<\/p>\n
“Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church.”<\/p>\n
“The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.”<\/p>\n
“The reverend is on vacation. Massages can be given to his secretary.”<\/p>\n
“This afternoon, there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.”<\/p>\n
“Smile at someone who is hard to love.\u00a0 Say ‘hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.”<\/p>\n
“For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”<\/p>\n
“Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.\u00a0 Proceeds will be used to cripple children.”<\/p>\n
“Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“The outreach committee has visited every family that is not afflicted with a church.”<\/p>\n
“Don’t let worry kill you–let the church help.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[83],"class_list":["post-4150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-joke-of-the-week","tag-joke"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4150","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4150"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4150\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}