{"id":45213,"date":"2014-07-28T12:00:34","date_gmt":"2014-07-28T11:00:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=45213"},"modified":"2015-05-05T21:33:36","modified_gmt":"2015-05-05T20:33:36","slug":"israeli-operation-security-bottom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2014\/07\/israeli-operation-security-bottom\/","title":{"rendered":"Israeli Operation Security Bottom"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"netanyahu<\/a>Osama Gil-laden in Jerusalem – <\/em>Avi Dichter, former head of the Israel Security Agency and homefront defense minister, declared earlier this<\/a> week that \u201cthere is no Iron Dome against the terror tunnels.\u201d The message is devastatingly clear; the Jewish people are now attacked from below \u2013 the bottom front is bare and widely open. This development is regarded in Israel as a serious intelligence blunder. It needs to be addressed immediately. More than a few Israeli politicians and commentators call for a probe of the failure of Israel intelligence once Operation Protective Edge comes to its conclusion.<\/p>\n

In the last decade Israel has surrounded itself with walls of security.\u00a0 The Jewish sky is also covered by a dome of iron. But the promised soil that waited for two millennia to be redeemed by its true and only owners, is threatened to be plundered, once again, by a new wave of Gazan \u00a0insurgents who dig their way into our heartland land from in beneath.<\/p>\n

But the Palestinians were na\u00efve if they, even for one second, believed that the Jewish Genius was going to be intimidated by this new form of Islamo-Tunnelism. The Israeli defense ministry was quick to gather some ideas. Earlier this week it presented the cabinet with a few operative solutions.<\/p>\n

Sarah Toddler, the secretary of the Kindergarten Teachers Union (KTU) \u00a0and the author of the worldwide progressive best seller Poopoo-Kaka-Weewee-Pipi\u00a0 was amongst the first experts to be invited to the meeting. The experienced early-age educator suggested to wrap Israel\u2019s bottom with a nappie (diaper). \u201cSuch a solution\u2019, she said, \u00a0\u201cwould provide us with security but also a sense of relative comfort.\u201d\u00a0 Minister Naftali Bennett, famous for his hard-core nationalist inclinations was very supportive, he argued that such an idea, wrapping the Jewish State with a diaper may even \u201cfuel Zionism with a sense of new begging.\u201d<\/p>\n

But truth must be said, with all due respect to Mrs Toddler, her suggestion didn\u2019t stand a much of a chance.\u00a0 Far more creative was Moishe Feiga\u2019le, currently, Israel\u2019s LGBT minister and a member of the Israeli Lick Party. \u201cUnlike our reactionary, backward \u00a0neighbours\u201d, said Feiga\u2019le, \u201cwe the Jews are tolerant and open.\u00a0 Israel must seek the support of its extensive patriotic Gay community, after all, Tel Aviv is the world\u2019s gay capital and this time, it is our bottom that is aching.\u201d The cabinet followed Feiga\u2019le advice and a meeting was set the following morning at shelter near Picca-Dildo, Tel Aviv\u2019s most famous \u00a0Sex Shop.<\/p>\n

Far from being surprising, the Israeli Gay leaders saved Israel once again. Butt-Plug was their answer. \u201cThe Jewish homeland needs to seal its bottom and there is only one cheap method to do so\u201d said Yossef Pillowbiter . It goes without saying that the idea was opposed by the usual suspects: ministers Avigdor Liberman and Eli Yishai known for their conservative and backward worldview. But Feiga\u2019le and Pillowbitter anticipated\u00a0 opposition and were well prepared. They provided the cabinet members with a verity of plugs provided that they are returned within 24 hours and clean. Surprise? Not really, we learn this evening from Government spokesman Mark Regev that both Lieberman and Yishai are now considering the new idea positively and seriously and even asked to extend the plug trial period by another 48 hours.<\/p>\n

______________________________<\/p>\n

Gilad Atzmon is a public opponent of Israel. Born into a pro-Zionist family and serving in the first Lebanon War, he had a dramatic turnaround. He quit the army, picked up his sax and exiled himself to London. Atzmon writes\u00a0on political matters, social issues,\u00a0Jewish identity and culture. His\u00a0papers are published around the world: TRANSCEND Media Service<\/a>,<\/a> World News,<\/a> The Guardian<\/a>, Rebelion, <\/a>The Daily Telegraph<\/a>, Uprooted Palestinians<\/a>, Veterans Today<\/a>, Palestine Telegraph<\/a>, Counterpunch,<\/a> Dissident Voice, <\/a>Aljazeera Magazine, \u00a0 Information Clearing House, <\/a>\u00a0 <\/a>Middle-East-Online<\/a>, \u00a0 Palestine Chronicle, The People Voice<\/a>, Redress<\/a>,\u00a0Shoa (The Palestinian Holocaust)\u00a0<\/a> and many more.<\/em><\/p>\n

Go to Original \u2013 gilad.co.uk<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Osama Gil-laden in Jerusalem – Avi Dichter, former head of the Israel Security Agency declared earlier this week that \u201cthere is no Iron Dome against the terror tunnels.\u201d The bottom front is bare and widely open. The Israeli Gay leaders saved Israel once again. Butt-Plug was their answer. \u201cThe Jewish homeland needs to seal its bottom and there is only one cheap method to do so\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[213],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-45213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food-for-thought"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45213","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45213"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45213\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45213"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45213"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}