{"id":67407,"date":"2015-12-07T14:20:52","date_gmt":"2015-12-07T14:20:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/?p=67407"},"modified":"2015-12-07T14:20:52","modified_gmt":"2015-12-07T14:20:52","slug":"the-dynamics-of-compassion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/2015\/12\/the-dynamics-of-compassion\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dynamics of Compassion"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"robert<\/a>2 Dec 2015 – <\/em>It\u2019s too easy to reduce acts of kindness to an \u201caw, isn\u2019t that nice?\u201d sort of irrelevance. What if we thought about them, instead, as templates for foreign policy?<\/p>\n

For one thing, if we did, there would be no such thing as \u201cforeign\u201d policy \u2014 no segregation of most of humanity behind borders and labels, to be controlled and, most of all, feared. There would only be getting-to-know-you policy, not in a simplistic sense but with a deep and courageous curiosity . . . because our survival depends on it.<\/p>\n

Another way to say this is: War doesn\u2019t work. Bombing ISIS doesn\u2019t work. Closing our border to Syrians \u2014 or Mexicans \u2014 doesn\u2019t work. Yet \u201cwe,\u201d by which I mean the whole world, or at least its community of nation states and terrorists (a single entity, as far as I can tell), go back to this suicidal behavior again and again and again. \u201cFrance is at war.\u201d We greet terror with revenge. It accomplishes nothing except to make matters worse \u2014 infinitely worse \u2014 but somehow it feels right at the time, so we keep doing it.<\/p>\n

Why are we violent but not illiterate?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I ask this question all the time. It was originally posed some years ago by Washington Post columnist Colman McCarthy. The answer is obvious, of course. We\u2019re taught to read; originally, we taught ourselves to read. We invented written language. The human species is now in the process of inventing something just as crucial: how to love itself, how to engage with itself nonviolently. We\u2019ve been organized for far too long in a state of only partial connection, relying on the presence of enemies to stay in solidarity with our neighbors. We\u2019ve expended, especially in recent millennia, far more of our intelligence and treasure on the means to fortify ourselves from \u2014 and kill \u2014 the enemy than we have, perhaps, on anything else. Think nuclear weapons.<\/p>\n

\"peace<\/a>Of this I am certain: The human transition to nonviolence will not happen from the top down. The surreally farcical 2016 GOP presidential race makes this clear. The official reaction to every conceivable threat, real and imagined, is to throw more violence at it, to pound it out of existence. And the official discussion that accompanies such action never dares to question violence itself, almost as though violence and cowardice have a nearly unbreakable link.<\/p>\n

But change is coming up from the human roots. It\u2019s time to begin noticing it.<\/p>\n

Last week I wrote: \u201cPlease write and tell me about how personal acts of compassion and connection have resolved conflicts and created understanding. I\u2019ll devote future columns to such stories. Tell me how sovereign people are changing the world \u2014 not through hate but through the courage of love.\u201d<\/p>\n

I plan to devote future columns to the complex phenomenon of compassionate connection. The goal is not to simplify or \u201cnice-ify\u201d the world, as the cynics would dismiss such a project, but to help open up our awareness of the dynamics of compassion and, most importantly, ask how we can employ these dynamics at every level of human interaction, including geopolitically.<\/p>\n

The point is, bitterness, hatred and violence \u2014 which always add up to dehumanization \u2014 make matters worse, whether the conflict is between individuals, tribes (street gangs) or nations. How can we address conflict at every one of these levels in a way that solidifies understanding and strengthens rather than shatters relationships? How can we avoid killing our enemy and reaping \u2014 as we always must \u2014 the horrific consequences?<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve received some beautiful, stunning stories in response to last week\u2019s column. Let me begin on a Tokyo commuter train, as a belligerent drunk guy steps into the car and scares the hell out of his fellow passengers.<\/p>\n

The story, told by the late Terry Dobson and posted at the Eastern Healing Arts<\/a> website, was referred to me by correspondent Blair Gelbond. Dobson, at the time of the event he described, was a young student of the peaceful martial art of Aikido. He himself, however, had not embraced peace. He was riding through suburban Tokyo when the obscenity-spouting drunk revved up his heroic adrenalin.<\/p>\n

\u201cI felt both tough and holy,\u201d Dobson wrote. \u201cIn my heart of hearts . . . I was dying to be a hero. I wanted a chance, an absolutely legitimate opportunity whereby I might save the innocent by destroying the guilty.\u201d<\/p>\n

He stood up and confronted the drunk, ready to save humanity. \u201cI gave him a slow look of disgust and dismissal. I gave him every bit of piss-ant nastiness I could summon up. I planned to take this turkey apart, but he had to be the one to move first. And I wanted him mad, because the madder he got the more certain my victory.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dobson blew the drunk a sarcastic kiss and the fight was about to start for real when, suddenly, from a corner of the car, an elderly man called out a joyous \u201cHey!\u201d and drew the drunk\u2019s attention. With remarkable skill, he coaxed the troublemaker into a conversation while Dobson stood in amazement, listening. By the time the train reached Dobson\u2019s stop, the compassionately attentive listener had calmed the drunk and learned of the death of his wife. \u201cVery gently, swaying with the motion of the train, the big man began to sob,\u201d he wrote.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I had wanted to do with muscle and meanness had been accomplished with a few kind words,\u201d Dobson added. It was a teaching moment that changed his life.<\/p>\n

What pulls my attention is the old man\u2019s enormous skill, or \u201cpeace literacy,\u201d you might say. Compassionate self-defense, like violent self-defense, reaps consequences, but consider the differences. When truth rather than blood flows from the encounter, all parties grow as human beings. This ought to be humanity\u2019s starting point: the principle around which we build our global society.<\/p>\n

What can handguns or bombs accomplish compared to this? Can we learn the skill of understanding someone who scares or threatens us? Can we invest in the teaching and implementation of such skills? Can we rethink war?<\/p>\n

Please continue sending stories of compassionate conflict resolution. We know more than we realize.<\/p>\n

______________________________<\/p>\n

Robert C. Koehler is an award-winning, Chicago-based peace journalist and nationally syndicated writer. His book, <\/em>Courage Grows Strong at the Wound (Xenos Press) is still available. Contact him at koehlercw@gmail.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Go to Original \u2013 commonwonders.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We invented written language. The human species is now in the process of inventing something just as crucial: how to love itself, how to engage with itself nonviolently. We\u2019ve been organized for far too long in a state of only partial connection, relying on the presence of enemies to stay in solidarity with our neighbors.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-67407","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tms-peace-journalism"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67407","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=67407"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67407\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=67407"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=67407"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=67407"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}