![\"unhappiness\"](\"https:\/\/www.transcend.org\/tms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/unhappiness.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nUnhappiness is lethal to everyone around you, just like second-hand smoke. The famous Terman Study from Stanford followed subjects for eight decades and found that being around unhappy people is linked to poorer health and a shorter life span.<\/p>\n
Happiness has much less to do with life circumstances than you might think. A University of Illinois study found that people who earn the most (more than $10 million annually) are only a smidge happier than the average Joes and Janes who work for them.<\/p>\n
Life circumstances have little to do with happiness because much happiness is under your control\u2014the product of your habits and your outlook on life. Psychologists from the University of California who study happiness found that genetics and life circumstances only account for about 50% of a person\u2019s happiness. The rest is up to you.<\/p>\n
Unhappy Habits<\/strong><\/p>\n When people are unhappy, it\u2019s much more difficult to be around them, let alone work with them. Unhappiness drives people away, creating a vicious cycle that holds you back from achieving everything that you\u2019re capable of.<\/p>\n Unhappiness can catch you by surprise. So much of your happiness is determined by your habits (in thought and deed) that you have to monitor them closely to make certain that they don\u2019t drag you down into the abyss.<\/p>\n Some habits lead to unhappiness more than others do. You should be especially wary of the ten habits that follow as they are the worst offenders. Watch yourself carefully to make certain that these habits are not your own.<\/p>\n Waiting for the Future<\/strong><\/p>\n Telling yourself, \u201cI\u2019ll be happy when \u2026\u201d is one of the easiest unhappy habits to fall into. How you end the statement doesn\u2019t really matter (it might be a promotion, more pay, or a new relationship) because it puts too much emphasis on circumstances, and improved circumstances don\u2019t lead to happiness. Don\u2019t spend your time waiting for something that\u2019s proven to have no effect on your mood. Instead focus on being happy right now, in the present moment, because there\u2019s no guarantee of the future.<\/p>\n Spending Too Much Time and Effort Acquiring \u201cThings\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n People living in extreme poverty experience a significant increase in happiness when their financial circumstances improve, but it drops off quickly above $20,000 in annual income. There\u2019s an ocean of research that shows that material things don\u2019t make you happy. When you make a habit of chasing things, you are likely to become unhappy because, beyond the disappointment you experience once you get them, you discover that you\u2019ve gained them at the expense of the real things that can make you happy, such as friends, family, and hobbies.<\/p>\n Staying Home<\/strong><\/p>\n When you feel unhappy, it\u2019s tempting to avoid other people. This is a huge mistake as socializing, even when you don\u2019t enjoy it, is great for your mood. We all have those days when we just want to pull the covers over our heads and refuse to talk to anybody, but understand that the moment this becomes a tendency, it destroys your mood. Recognize when unhappiness is making you antisocial, force yourself to get out there and mingle, and you\u2019ll notice the difference right away.<\/p>\n Seeing Yourself as a Victim<\/strong><\/p>\n Unhappy people tend to operate from the default position that life is both hard and out of their control. In other words, \u201cLife is out to get me, and there\u2019s nothing I can do about it.\u201d The problem with that philosophy is that it fosters a feeling of helplessness, and people who feel helpless aren\u2019t likely to take action to make things better. While everyone is certainly entitled to feel down every once in a while, it\u2019s important to recognize when you\u2019re letting this affect your outlook on life. You\u2019re not the only person that bad things happen to, and you do<\/em> have control over your future as long as you\u2019re willing to take action.<\/p>\n Pessimism<\/strong><\/p>\n Nothing fuels unhappiness quite like pessimism. The problem with a pessimistic attitude, beyond it being hard on your mood, is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you expect bad things, you\u2019re more likely to get bad things. Pessimistic thoughts are hard to shake off until you recognize how illogical they are. Force yourself to look at the facts, and you\u2019ll see that things are not nearly as bad as they seem.<\/p>\n Complaining<\/strong><\/p>\n Complaining itself is troubling as well as the attitude that precedes it. Complaining is a self-reinforcing behavior. By constantly talking\u2014and therefore thinking\u2014about how bad things are, you reaffirm your negative beliefs. While talking about what bothers you can help you feel better, there\u2019s a fine line between complaining being therapeutic and it fueling unhappiness. Beyond making you unhappy, complaining drives other people away.<\/p>\n Blowing Things Out of Proportion<\/strong><\/p>\n Bad things happen to everybody. The difference is that happy people see them for what they are\u2014a temporary bummer\u2014whereas unhappy people see anything negative as further evidence that life is out to get them. A happy person is upset if they have a fender bender on the way to work, but they keep things in perspective: \u201cWhat a hassle, but at least it wasn\u2019t more serious.\u201d An unhappy person, on the other hand, uses it as proof that the day, the week, the month, maybe even their whole life, is doomed.<\/p>\n Sweeping Problems under the Rug<\/strong><\/p>\n Happy people are accountable for their actions. When they make a mistake, they own it. Unhappy people, on the other hand, find problems and mistakes to be threatening, so they try to hide them. Problems tend to get bigger when they\u2019re ignored. The more you don\u2019t do anything about a problem, the more it starts to feel as though you can\u2019t do anything about it, and then you\u2019re right back to feeling like a victim.<\/p>\n Not Improving<\/strong><\/p>\n Because unhappy people are pessimists and feel a lack of control over their lives, they tend to sit back and wait for life to happen to them. Instead of setting goals, learning, and improving themselves, they just keep plodding along, and then they wonder why things never change.<\/p>\n Trying to Keep Up With the Joneses<\/strong><\/p>\n Jealousy and envy are incompatible with happiness, so if you\u2019re constantly comparing yourself with others, it\u2019s time to stop. In one study, most subjects said that they\u2019d be okay with making less money, but only if everybody else did too. Be wary of this kind of thinking as it won\u2019t make you happy and, more often than not, has the opposite effect.<\/p>\n Bringing It All Together<\/strong><\/p>\n Changing your habits in the name of greater happiness is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. But it\u2019s also important for another reason\u2014taking control of your happiness makes everyone around you happier too.<\/p>\n What do you do to make yourself happy? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.<\/em><\/p>\n ________________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n Dr. Travis Bradberry<\/em> is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book, <\/em>Emotional Intelligence 2.0<\/a>,<\/em> and the cofounder of TalentSmart<\/a>, the world’s leading provider of emotional intelligence tests<\/a> and training<\/a>, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or been covered by, <\/em>Newsweek, TIME, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and<\/em> The Harvard Business Review.<\/em><\/p>\n