What’s Cooking in Macron’s Mind with This Palestine Stunt? A Sarcastic Stroll Through Eight Years of French Flops

EUROPE, 11 Aug 2025

Diran Noubar – TRANSCEND Media Service

6 Aug 2025 – Oh, Emmanuel Macron, you enigmatic maestro of French flair, what fresh folly have you conjured now? In a move that’s got the world raising its eyebrows higher than the Eiffel Tower, Macron has announced that France will recognize the State of Palestine at the UN General Assembly in September 2025. Yes, the man who once thought he could charm Vladimir Putin into submission with a phone call and a winning smile is now diving headfirst into the Middle East’s most intractable conflict. What, pray tell, is simmering in that perfectly styled noggin of his? Is this the final flop in a presidency littered with more missteps than a drunken can-can dancer, or—dare we dream—a move to finally “redore son blason” (that’s French for polishing his battered reputation, for those still struggling with high school French)? Let’s take a biting, sarcastic jaunt through Macron’s greatest hits of the past eight years to figure out if this Palestine gambit is another facepalm or a rare stroke of genius.

The Macron Miracle: From Golden Boy to National Punchline

Rewind to 2017, when Emmanuel Macron sashayed into the Élysée Palace like a startup CEO with a philosophy degree and a dream. “I’m neither left nor right, I’m en même temps (at the same time) !” he proclaimed, as if straddling the political fence was a personality trait. France swooned, handing him the keys to the kingdom. Spoiler alert: it’s been downhill ever since.

First up, the Gilets Jaunes catastrophe. Macron, in his infinite wisdom, decided that jacking up fuel taxes to save the planet was just the ticket for a nation already stretched thinner than a crêpe. Rural France, unsurprisingly, didn’t take kindly to paying more to drive their rusty Renaults to the boulangerie. Cue the yellow vests, who turned Paris into a post-apocalyptic street party, complete with tear gas and burning cars. Macron’s response? Call them “thugs” and hide behind his palace gates, sipping espresso while the country rioted. Smooth move, Emmanuel. Result: a nation more divided than a French dinner party debating Bourgogne vs. Bordeaux.

Then there was the pension reform fiasco. Macron, ever the visionary, decided that making the French work until 64 instead of 62 was the hill to die on. The French, who consider early retirement a human right, responded with strikes, protests, and enough Molotov cocktails to make 1968 blush. Did Macron listen? Nope. He shoved the reform through with a constitutional sleight-of-hand, proving he’s less “Jupiterian leader” and more “stubborn toddler with a crown.” The result? A nation seething, and Macron’s approval rating lower than the Seine river after a rainstorm.

The Global Stage: Where Macron’s Ego Meets a Brick Wall

Not content with turning France into his personal punching bag, Macron decided to dazzle the world with his diplomatic genius. Spoiler: the world wasn’t dazzled. Remember his bromance with Donald Trump in 2018? Macron thought he could win over the MAGA king with a state visit, a tree-planting photo-op, and some aggressive handshaking. The tree died, Trump laughed in his face, and Macron was left looking like a kid who thought he could sweet-talk the school bully into sharing his lunch money.

Then there’s the Russia debacle. In 2022, as Putin’s army rolled into Ukraine, Macron fancied himself the second coming of Henry Kissinger. He spent hours on the phone with Vladimir, convinced he could talk the dictator out of war with his patented blend of charm and condescension. Shocker: Putin couldn’t care less. The special military operation happened, and Macron’s diplomatic dreams went up in smoke faster than a Gauloise at a Paris café. Not one to learn, he later floated the idea of sending French troops to Ukraine in 2024, despite France’s military being so underfunded it could barely afford a bullet (French army’s ammunitions are now U.A.E property). Zero weapons, maximum swagger—classic Macron.

And let’s not forget Boualem Sansal, the Algerian writer languishing under Algiers’ thumb. Macron, who loves to wax poetic about human rights, has done precisely rien to help Sansal or other dissidents. Why? Because Algeria keeps France’s gas stoves burning, and Macron’s more interested in energy security than in playing hero. Liberté? Egalité? Fraternité? More like “Priorité au gaz, s’il vous plaît.”

The Palestine Ploy: Grand Gesture or Grand Disaster?

Now we come to Macron’s latest brainstorm: recognizing Palestine in September 2025. Is this the ultimate flop, the cherry on top of a presidency defined by hubris and hot air, or a cunning move to salvage his legacy? Let’s break it down with all the sarcasm we can muster.

On one hand, this is Macron at his most Macron: a bold, headline-grabbing move that’s sure to rile up half the planet. By recognizing Palestine, France becomes the first G7 nation to do so, sticking a well-manicured finger in the eye of Israel and the U.S. Benjamin Netanyahu, predictably, threw a tantrum, calling it a “reward for terrorism” and a “launchpad to annihilate Israel.” The U.S., via Marco Rubio, sneered that it’s “reckless.” Even France’s own Jewish community, via Crif, called it a “political victory” for Hamas. Congratulations, Emmanuel, you’ve united Israel, America, and your own backyard in collective outrage. That’s some next-level diplomacy right there.

But let’s pause the snark for a second. Macron insists this is about “a just and lasting peace,” with a ceasefire in Gaza, hostage releases, and humanitarian aid as the immediate goals. He’s got company—Spain, Ireland, and Norway jumped on the Palestine bandwagon in 2024, and Saudi Arabia gave him a thumbs-up. The Palestinian Authority is over the moon, with their ambassador calling it a nod to international law. And with France’s clout as the EU’s only nuclear power and a UN Security Council permanent member, this isn’t just symbolic—it’s a geopolitical power move.

Still, the cynic in me (and there’s a lot of cynic) smells another Macron misfire. He’s been teasing this Palestine idea since April 2025, when he planned a big conference with Saudi Arabia, only for it to collapse after Israel bombed Iran. Hamas is cheering, which isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement for peace. And as Yanis Varoufakis pointed out, tying recognition to a Gaza ceasefire might just hand Netanyahu the veto power to derail the whole thing. So, is this a masterstroke or another case of Macron promising caviar and delivering stale bread?

The Verdict: Flop or Blason Redoré?

So, what’s the deal, Emmanuel? Is this Palestine stunt your final faceplant, or a rare chance to polish that tarnished reputation? Honestly, it’s probably both. Recognizing Palestine might win him some brownie points with the global left and Arab nations, but it’s also a diplomatic landmine that could blow up in his face faster than you can say “vive la France.” If he pulls it off—say, by brokering a ceasefire and a viable peace process—it could be the legacy-defining moment he’s been chasing. But given his track record of overpromising and underdelivering, don’t hold your breath. This is the guy who thought he could fight Russia with a PowerPoint presentation, free dissidents with a shrug, and solve global warming by taxing truck drivers. The odds of this being another glorious flop are higher than the Arc de Triomphe.

In the end, Macron’s mind is a labyrinth of ambition, arrogance, and the occasional good intention, all wrapped in a tricolor bow. Whether this Palestine move is a disaster or a triumph, one thing’s certain: the world will be watching, probably with a mix of amusement and dread, as Macron strides into the UN with the confidence of a man who thinks he can solve the Middle East with a speech and a selfie. Bonne chance, Monsieur le Président. You’re gonna need it.

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Disclaimer: This article is dripping with sarcasm but grounded in the absurdity of real events. For a less snarky take, check you usual sources. 

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Diran Noubar, an Italian-Armenian born in France, has lived in 11 countries until he moved to Armenia. He is a world-renowned, critically-acclaimed documentary filmmaker and war reporter. Starting in the early 2000’s in New York City, Diran produced and directed over 20 full-length documentary films. He is also a singer/songwriter and guitarist in his own band and runs a nonprofit charity organization, wearemenia.org.

This article originally appeared on Transcend Media Service (TMS) on 11 Aug 2025.

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