Kim Jong-un: Bieber Just a Few Arrests from Being My Friend

FOOD FOR THOUGHT, 27 Jan 2014

Andy Borowitz – The New Yorker

Credit: Miami-Dade Corrections & Rehabilitation Department.

Credit: Miami-Dade Corrections & Rehabilitation Department.

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un announced on state television today that he believes the pop star Justin Bieber is “just a few arrests away” from visiting North Korea as his friend.

“Justin, if you are watching right now, this is my message to you,” Kim said. “I stand ready and willing to be your B.F.F.”

The mercurial Kim said that he would seek Mr. Bieber’s aid in boosting North Korea’s slumping pop-music industry, which has failed to generate any hits comparable to South Korea’s “Gangnam Style.”

“Justin Bieber could be our Minister of Culture,” he said.

The dictator said he understood that Mr. Bieber’s fans were concerned about the direction the singer was heading of late, but he offered this reassurance: “He is heading to North Korea. It’s all good.”

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Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. In 2001, he created the Borowitz Report, a satirical news column that has millions of readers around the world, for which he won the first-ever National Press Club award for humor. The Borowitz Report was acquired by The New Yorker in 2012.

Go to Original – newyorker.com

 

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