Articles by TMS Editor

We found 233 results.


Wailing Wall
TMS editor, 9 Sep 2013

A CNN reporter goes to Israel to cover the conflict. She is looking for something emotional and positive and of human interest.

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Texan Student
TMS editor, 2 Sep 2013

A Texan student was in his the college campus bookstore.

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Matter of Fact
TMS editor, 26 Aug 2013

A couple go on holiday to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota.

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Letter to God
TMS editor, 19 Aug 2013

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

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Be Strong Honey, I Love You
TMS editor, 15 Jul 2013

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

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A Prayer
TMS editor, 8 Jul 2013

When I die, I want to go peacefully…

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A Bad Day Indeed
TMS editor, 1 Jul 2013

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

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Circumcision
TMS Editor, 24 Jun 2013

Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room. One leans over to the other and says, “What are you in here for?”

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Three Shots Please
TMS editor, 17 Jun 2013

A man walked into a bar, sat down, ordered 3 shots of whiskey, drank them, then left. This continued daily for several weeks.

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Stunt
TMS editor, 10 Jun 2013

A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole whose selling point was that it was on top of the largest skyscraper in town.

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Bad News
TMS editor, 3 Jun 2013

A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender says, “Six shots? What’s wrong?”

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Number One Sport
TMS editor, 27 May 2013

A woman, while touring Spain was shown a bullfight.

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Meeting the Pope
TMS editor, 20 May 2013

A rich American tourist was holidaying in Rome, and was intent on seeing the Pope. There he stood, in a big long line dressed in a rather expensive suit, hoping the Pope would notice how important he was and perhaps talk a few words with him.

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Impressive Hunting Dog
TMS editor, 13 May 2013

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.

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Beer, eh
TMS editor, 6 May 2013

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.

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The Climb
TMS editor, 29 Apr 2013

Eleven women were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.

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Gates of Heaven
TMS editor, 22 Apr 2013

A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that it’s not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed.

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Heaven and Hell
TMS editor, 15 Apr 2013

In Heaven:
The cooks are French…

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Class Memento
TMS editor, 8 Apr 2013

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

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Deaf
TMS editor, 1 Apr 2013

A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing is as good as it used to be, what should I do?”

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Don’t Argue with Children
TMS editor, 25 Mar 2013

My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.

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Death in the Family
TMS editor, 18 Mar 2013

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.

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Contract with the Devil
TMS editor, 11 Mar 2013

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him.

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An Honest Lawyer
TMS editor, 4 Mar 2013

An investment counsellor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realised she needed an in-house counsel, so she began interviewing young lawyers.

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Billing
TMS editor, 25 Feb 2013

A medical doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

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A Man and His Money
TMS editor, 18 Feb 2013

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser and loved money more than anything else.

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A Brief History Of Medicine
TMS editor, 11 Feb 2013

I have a stomachache.
2000 B.C. – Here, eat this root…

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Criminal Record
TMS editor, 14 Jan 2013

An applicant was filling out a job application.

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Feel Better
TMS editor, 7 Jan 2013

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.

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Electric Train
TMS Editor, 31 Dec 2012

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said,

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When I was Young
TMS editor, 24 Dec 2012

When I was young I used to pray for a bicycle.

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Breaking and Entering
TMS editor, 17 Dec 2012

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

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Lipstick
TMS Editor, 10 Dec 2012

A school was faced with a unique problem. A number of teenage girls were beginning to use lipsticks and used to put them on in the bathroom.

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Job Interview
TMS Editor, 3 Dec 2012

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks “What do two plus two equal?”

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Bad Investment
TMS editor, 26 Nov 2012

Shultz, a lawyer, bribed a man on the jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of 1st degree murder which was brought by the prosecution.

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Standing At the Gates of Heaven
TMS editor, 19 Nov 2012

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.

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Revelation 3:20
TMS editor, 12 Nov 2012

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners.

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God is Watching
TMS editor, 5 Nov 2012

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.

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Red in the Face
TMS editor, 29 Oct 2012

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.

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Whales
TMS Editor, 22 Oct 2012

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

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Surprise!
TMS Editor, 15 Oct 2012

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room.

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Meanwhile, in Brussels… Papy Blues
TMS Editor, 8 Oct 2012

At the Grande Place, an Uplifting Alternative to EU’s Gloominess

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By the Way…
TMS Editor, 8 Oct 2012

My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.

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I Won The Lottery!
TMS Editor, 1 Oct 2012

A man gets home, screeches his car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of his lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!”

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A Last Request
TMS Editor, 24 Sep 2012

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.

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A Hot Day
TMS Editor, 17 Sep 2012

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection.

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The Driver
TMS Editor, 10 Sep 2012

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.

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Assassin Job
TMS Editor, 3 Sep 2012

After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists for the CIA assassin position — two men and one woman.

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Arthritis
TMS Editor, 27 Aug 2012

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest.

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Really Good Deed
TMS Editor, 20 Aug 2012

This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while St. Pete leafs through his Big Book.

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Meeting the Pope
TMS Editor, 13 Aug 2012

A rich American tourist was holidaying in Rome, and was intent on seeing the Pope. There he stood, in a big long line with a rather expensive suit on, hoping the Pope would notice how smart he was and perhaps talk a few words with him.

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The Taxi Driver
TMS Editor, 6 Aug 2012

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them. ‘Come with me’, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

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So Much Fun!
TMS Editor, 30 Jul 2012

A suspicious husband hired a private eye to check on the movements of his wife. In addition to a written report, the husband wanted a video of his wife’s activities.

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Oops!
TMS Editor, 23 Jul 2012

Every Saturday morning he has an early tee time. He gets up early and eager, golfs all day long, sometimes 36 holes.

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Mafia Job
TMS Editor, 9 Jul 2012

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from the private businesses they were “protecting.”

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Electric Train
TMS Editor, 2 Jul 2012

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.

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Soybeans
TMS Editor, 25 Jun 2012

While going through his wife’s dresser drawers, a farmer discovered three soybeans and an envelope containing $30 in cash.

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Migraine Cure
TMS Editor, 18 Jun 2012

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.

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Quotes
TMS Editor, 11 Jun 2012

Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.

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Lawyer in Hell
TMS Editor, 28 May 2012

A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil’s hands. “You will be spending eternity here, but I’ll let you pick your own room from three I’ll show you,” the devil said.

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Glad to Be Drunk
TMS Editor, 21 May 2012

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.

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New Lawyer
TMS Editor, 14 May 2012

Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man here.

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Circumcision
TMS Editor, 7 May 2012

Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room.

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Circumcision
TMS Editor, 30 Apr 2012

Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room. One leans over to the other and says, “What are you in here for?”

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A Really Bad Day
TMS Editor, 23 Apr 2012

There was this sad-looking guy at a bar, just staring at his drink, for about half an hour.

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Nobel Laureate Praised For Not Attending US Summit
Antonio C. S. Rosa, TMS Editor, 23 Apr 2012

Mairead Corrigan Maguire, who was awarded the 1976 Nobel Peace Prize for her work in Northern Ireland, invited to attend the Summit of Nobel Peace Laureates in Chicago, has canceled her trip because of a statement by U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton that the State Department is an Active Partner in the summit. The Nobel Summit is hooked up to the NATO Summit in Chicago. Critics of the Nobel Prize and of NATO applauded Maguire’s decision:

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Leaked Video Shows US Contractors Randomly Killing Civilians
TMS Editor, 16 Apr 2012

Employees of the US military contracting group Academi (formerly Xe, Blackwater USA, and Blackwater Worldwide) are seen in new leaked video shooting their machine guns at random while driving through the streets of Baghdad, crashing into other cars and even running over a pedestrian without hesitation. Academi received a $250 million contract by the Obama administration to provide military services in Afghanistan.

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Please Join Our Kumar-Satyagraha Facebook Group
Antonio C. S. Rosa, TMS editor, 16 Apr 2012

This is a closed group for exchange of ideas/advocacy/information for Dr. S P Udayakumar, Convener of the TRANSCEND Network for South India. Kumar is participating in Satyagraha/nonviolent protests with the People’s Movement Against Nuclear Energy (PMANE) to stop construction of the Koodankulam Nuclear Power Plant in Tamil Nadu, South India. We demand that the authorities free all jailed protesters, drop the spurious charges of treason, sedition and terrorism against the leaders, and lift the blockade of the villages surrounding the nuclear plant scheduled to be inaugurated in May 2012. THIS IS URGENT! Please Click Below and I will authorize your request to join. Then invite all your Facebook Friends to join too. Thank you in the name of the planet.

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Blonde Paint Job
TMS Editor, 9 Apr 2012

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.

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Support Indian Protesters – Stop Kudankulam!
Antonio C. S. Rosa, TMS Editor, 2 Apr 2012

On March 19, 2012, the Indian government gave approval for operation of two Russian-designed nuclear reactors at Kudankulam in southern India. These reactors have been under construction since 1988 and are obsolete before they even start up. Three million people live within 30 kilometers (18 miles) of these reactors, some less than a half-mile away. We are asking everyone, from every country, to take action. PLEASE SIGN THE LETTER ONLINE TO THE INDIAN PRIME MINISTER. Thank you.

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Gifts
TMS Editor, 2 Apr 2012

It was Thursday evening and Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad.

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Cows
TMS Editor, 26 Mar 2012

“Mister, why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” asked the young lady from a nearby city.

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Dear Abby,
TMS Editor, 19 Mar 2012

I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

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The Policeman and the Drunkard
TMS Editor, 12 Mar 2012

One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws.

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Be polite… and laugh
TMS Editor, 5 Mar 2012

Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

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Breakfast Order
TMS Editor, 27 Feb 2012

A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and read from the menu.

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Installing a Carpet
TMS Editor, 20 Feb 2012

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes.

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A Pirate Story
TMS Editor, 13 Feb 2012

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

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Never Talk To the Parrot
TMS Editor, 6 Feb 2012

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working.

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Safe to swim here?
TMS Editor, 30 Jan 2012

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat.

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What Are Human Rights? [Legendado em Portugues] (VIDEO OF THE WEEK)
TMS Editor, 30 Jan 2012

O que são Direitos Humanos? Documentary produced by United for the Human Rights. Documentário produzido por United for the Human Rights

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Want to be healed?
TMS Editor, 23 Jan 2012

Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat.

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The pessimist and the Dog
TMS Editor, 16 Jan 2012

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.

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Palestine 1896
TMS Editor, 16 Jan 2012

First Film Footage Taken in Palestine (Lumier Bros.) – Just one year before the first Zionist Congress…

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(Spanish, English, Portuguese) Eduardo Galeano – El Derecho al Delirio (VIDEO OF THE WEEK)
TMS Editor, 9 Jan 2012

Subtitles in English – The Right to Delirium
Legendado em Portugues – O Direito ao Delírio

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Wanna buy a frog?
TMS Editor, 9 Jan 2012

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?”

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Satchita – Playing for Change (VIDEO OF THE WEEK)
TMS Editor, 12 Dec 2011

Playing for Change Project. Songs around the world. Simply beautiful!

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Assange Wins Walkley Journalism Award
TMS Editor, 5 Dec 2011

Nov 27 2011 – WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has won the Walkley Award for Most Outstanding Contribution to Journalism in his native Australia. He speaks his mind.

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Zach Wahls Speaks About Family
TMS Editor, 5 Dec 2011

Zach Wahls, a 19-year-old University of Iowa student spoke about the strength of his family during a public forum on House Joint Resolution 6 in the Iowa House of Representatives. Wahls has two mothers, and came to oppose House Joint Resolution 6, which would end civil unions in Iowa.

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Abdul Ghaffar Khan International Peace-Builder Award to Prof. Johan Galtung
TMS Editor, 21 Nov 2011

The American Muslim Alliance Foundation-AMA on 14 Nov 2011 honored Prof. Johan Galtung, the founder of the academic discipline of peace studies, with the Abdul Ghaffar Khan International Peace-Builder Award.

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Russell Tribunal on Palestine Calls for Pressure on Israeli Government
TMS Editor, 21 Nov 2011

Annette Groth, spokesperson on human rights for Germany’s Left Party, relates her experience at the Russell Tribunal on Palestine, 5-7 November 2011 in Cape Town, South Africa. On 7 November the jury presented its conclusions: it found that the treatment of the Palestinian population by the Israeli state meets the definition of the crime of apartheid under Article 2 of the UN Convention on Apartheid and Article 7 (2) (h) of the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court.

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Tar Sand Song
TMS Editor, 14 Nov 2011

Words by Diane Perlman, PhD (TRANSCEND member)*
Music by Woody Guthrie
Performed by Ya’akov-Yisrael “Jimmy” Costello

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Difference between a Jew and a Zionist
TMS Editor, 14 Nov 2011

Rabbi: “The Jews have no right to have a state or to rule over the Palestinians and blow up their homes. Zionism is destroying the thousands of years old Jewish religion; it was started a hundred years ago by atheists.”

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Abdul Ghaffar Khan International Peace-Builder Award to Professor Johan Galtung
TMS Editor, 7 Nov 2011

The American Muslim Alliance Foundation-AMA will honour Professor Johan Galtung, the founder of the academic discipline of peace studies, with the Abdul Ghaffar Khan International Peace-Builder Award. Prof. Galtung receives this award for his relentless dedication to deepening the understanding between Islam and The West. Abdul Ghaffar Khan (1890-1988), in whose name the prize is awarded, is also known as Sarhaddi Gandhi -the frontier Gandhi- and was a lifelong pacifist, a devout Muslim, and a close friend of Mahatma Gandhi.

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Act Now: Stop Imminent Land Grab That Threatens More Than 162,000 People in Tanzania
TMS Editor, 31 Oct 2011

Investor Bruce Rastetter and AgriSol Energy have their sights on 800,000 acres (325,000 hectares) of land in Tanzania that is home to 162,000 people. Several generations of families who have successfully re-established their lives by developing and farming the land over the last 40 years, will be displaced against their will. They will lose their livelihoods and their community. We fear that this project could move quickly forward unless the Tanzanian government and the US investors realize that the world is watching. We ask that you join the Oakland Institute in holding Bruce Rastetter and AgriSol team accountable and send them the message that proceeding with their plans is not “socially responsible agricultural investment.”

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De Gaulle Predicted the US Monetary Crisis in 1965 (VIDEO OF THE WEEK)
TMS Editor, 10 Oct 2011

In February 1965, then French President General Charles De Gaulle predicted in a press conference the monetary crisis and the disaster that the dollar and the USA are imposing on the rest of the world. And he offered a solution…

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Which Grade?
TMS Editor, 10 Oct 2011

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, ‘Harry, what’s your problem?’

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Top 10 Signs Your Family Is Stressed…
TMS Editor, 15 Aug 2011

10. Conversations often begin with “Put the gun down, and then we can talk”.

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How Much Is A trillion?
TMS Editor, 8 Aug 2011

A million seconds is 12 days.
A billion seconds is 31 years.
A trillion seconds is 31,688 years.

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An Easily Understandable Explanation of Derivative Markets
TMS Editor, 8 Aug 2011

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit . She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar.

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